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Hey guys, for some weird sick twisted reason I’m super interested in psychotic, manic, delirious and delusional states of the mind. It just intrigues me. So I was wondering, if any of you have experienced any of the above mentioned states, and remembers the experience, would you be so kind and share it with me, and what substance induced it? Thanks in advance, and I’m sorry if the question is out of bounds, I know it might be a touchy subject for some.
Had a traumatic brain injury when I was 19. Hit my head hard on a stone floor, and was misdiagnosed with just a concussion.
What was actually happening was my brain sac (?) Was filling up with blood and putting pressure on my brain stem. Spent the next 5 weeks both in bed (hydrocodone) and in ICU (morphine/fentanyl) stuck in a world of hallucinations that were indiscernible from the real world. The characters would interact with real people and you couldn’t convince me they weren’t there. I saw my girlfriend raped and murdered in the bed with me by an intruder. I saw a puppy tugging on my IV lines in the OR. Entire locations would exist inside the hospital (my friends’ and my favorite meeting place in my home town and hour away).
I imagine it was a combination of the meds and the TBI. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and it certainly taught me all I want to know about delirious states.
It was an obvious milestone in my life, and being a TBI, I truly don’t know if it changed me or not because I don’t remember if I was different. I have all of my memories as far as I know. I had already tried mushrooms and dxm before it happened, which I think helped me cope afterwards with the hallucinations.
When it was happening, it didn’t seem scary (aside from the extreme ones like the one with my girlfriend). I didn’t know that I was teetering on the edge of dying or I wouldn’t accept it. I just wanted to go home, and each time a surgery (I had 3 angioplasties…then they discovered I had hemophilia and were able to correct course) I just knew I was going to be fine.
I’m healthy and happy now. I believe challenges in life and how we handle them are a major part of what makes us who we are, and I wouldn’t change any of it.
I’m extremely lucky to be alive. Truly, it was my brother who saved me. The only other drug user in my family, he knew what tripping and being high were like, and he knew that I knew what it was like. When he heard me having conversations in my room with no one, he implored my mother to get me to a hospital, that “that’s not my brother in there, something’s wrong.” My mother is very anti drug and was certain that the Hydrocodone was causing me to hallucinate and it wasn’t a big deal.
Also, I find that the only people who truly understand what that might have been like and why it would be so terrifying, are fellow drug users. It feels good to talk about it honestly.
And I did have moments of lucidity. They were few and far between (usually after coming out of anesthesia but before the bleed would begin again).
EDIT: and before anyone blames my mom, we later discovered that she is in fact ALLERGIC to most opiates, so who knows what kind of wacko shit she had seen on pain killers before and just thought that was how it was.
I think I’m good. I consider myself to be pretty smart, no discernable mental impairment. I play basketball 3 to 4 times a week, and I’m pretty athletic for my size and age. My hemophilia is “mild” I guess if that’s a thing. My clotting factor is about 50% of normal so plenty of people with the disease have it much worse. I do have bouts of depression, but who knows if you can blame that on the TBI. I still really enjoy psychedelics, use cannabis daily, and I’m about as happy as one can expect to be on a day to day basis.
Delirium: Took unknown dose of DPH and started watching alice in wonderland. Strait up though we (Alice and I) were smoking weed with the caterpillar and I dropped her pipe and it broke. Spent what felt like for ever trying to magically put it back together. Got super paranoid and hid all of the medications in my house in one sock. As in emptied full bottles of different medications into a sock because I thought that I needed to hide them. Completely forgot what I was doing half way through and just went to my brothers room to watch him play video games. He said I was yelling at him about a goat eating our tree outside in our yard. I barely remember this.
Next day my room had pills and socks everywhere and I couldn’t figure out what my train of thought was for putting the pills in a sock. There were a few rocks next to the couch glued together with super glue, I think that was the “pipe” I broke LMAO.
Psychosis: Took 2 hits of what I thought was 100ug lsd, later found out each hit was 300ug. Got a super bad stomach cramp on the way up, convinced myself if I didn’t take a shit I would die. Nothing would come out, so I hallucinated my death. Super vivid, I remember my GF calling an ambulance and everything and my buddy trying to revive me. I remember climbing a rainbow colored dna strand into a bright light which I can only describe as eternity. Once I passed into eternity I was able to observe my apartment from a multidimensional perspective; I watched infinite versions of myself and my GF just living life. Laughing, loving, fighting, playing, doing chores. A group voice said to me I could choose which ever life I wanted to wake up in.
There were tons of delusions durring the come up too. Like I thought I never left the bathroom and kept telling myself “it’s just the acid” and I remember this vividly that I really was still sitting on the toilet but my GF later informed me that I was running around the apartment squatting in random places like I was gonna take a shit lmao.
I remember thinking I observed the entire history of humanity and I watched us learn everything about the universe except what the name of the universe was. And it was this huge struggle to figure out the name and when they finally cracked it they discovered the name of the universe was MY name. Fucking weird as hell lol
I was really embarrassed about this until I read a ton of trip reports that were similar. Now that I’ve kind of come to peace with what happened and did my best to analyze it all in a way that helps my day to day life I can laugh about all the little embarrassing bit lol.
I was also super stressed and getting suicidal when I dosed, probably part of why I experienced what I experienced. Like part of me wanted to die, so my mind showed me what that would be like so I can realize how bad I want to be alive still x)
I would say I’ve experienced several fits of delusion/delirium in the past few years. I find it interesting, sometimes terrifying how disconnected the brain can come from reality from injuries/trauma/substances
– Diphenhydramine- took thirty 25 mg pills (750mg) half for the trip, half because I didn’t care if I became damaged from it as I was in a bad spot. Watched shadow spirits and giant daddy-long-leg spiders spawn in my bathroom and became convinced that I was witnessing another dimension/wavelength of reality. My hoodie on the floor turned into my cat and back into a hoodie. My blankets appeared to be breathing and glitching. Before I blacked out I saw a roughly eight foot tall face emerge from the wall of my closet but for some reason I was more amused than disturbed. What was worse was that I became mentally impaired for several months afterward and I continued to take smaller doses for a while; don’t think my memory has ever been the same.
– DXM – Took probably 600mg in one night, unaware that my wellbutrin medication made it more intense. I was watching my laptop screen and basically jumped into the display, as if I WAS the cursor itself. Eventually I completely dissociated and went into some sort of spacecraft and had genuine open eye visuals where I met and spoke to a purple alien surrounded by a floor of lava. When I came out of this, I tried to pee and realized I couldn’t so I started to think my kidneys were failing and called the cops (dumbass lol) and spent the night in the hospital suffering tremors the whole night. Learned later that DXM just works as an antidiuretic and I was fine.
-Aspirin – not really a recreational event at all. I actually OD’d on forty as a suicide attempt but I could barely keep myself conscious at one point and kept phasing in and out of a zoned out state in which I hallucinated death/some other shadow being enter my dark hospital room and make eye contact with me before fading away. Aspirin is ototoxic so I could not hear essentially anything except ringing, as if I were in an ocean with a sharp receiver type noise, which made me feel even more detached from everything.
I popped 8 x 25mg promethazine tablets in a vain attempt to go to sleep after shooting some meth. Spent the next 18 hours playing with the demons, weird people/apparitions, and my girlfriend removing her teeth in front of me.
Was surprisingly not as horrible as it sounds once I clicked what had happened, and found that “touching” the thing would make it dissipate, so I turned it into a game and tried to keep my head together.
Diphenhydramine when I was younger I did 1500mgs and went into full on delirium/psychosis for little over 48hours. I’m sorry that I can’t give you details since this was 5 years ago and I barely remember any of it anymore but I definitely don’t recommend it to anyone. I was just young and stupid searching for a cheap, easily available high.
I was basically like a retard for like a week and half at least after that, losing my thoughts the second they came out, same with forming sentences. After that maybe another 5 days for the brain fog to slowly lift but I was messed up for months after that mentally
Hey a thread I can finally contribute to!
A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by my therapist while I was having a particularly bad manic episode.
I think the best way to describe how my brain felt is this: imagine an old school pinball machine, the ones with the buttons on the sides and the lights and shit. My thoughts feel like the pinball shooting around inside hitting all those levers and switches, moving too fast to focus on.
Also I’ve noticed that I became far more prone to anxiety attacks, and those attacks were substantially more vicious.
I wrote down a list of how I felt in my notes during it so I can copy and paste some of it here:
Time flies fast
VERY Easily distracted
Hard to filter what I think due to racing thoughts
Hard to filter what I say
Much faster talking speed
General elated ‘high’ throughout day
Feel like I have to continuously move
Face and body feels numb
Slight tingly feeling throughout body
No appetite at all
No need for sleep (at least feels like it)
Very hard to keep track of time/dates
Body is fatiguing but mind is not
I jotted all of this down (and more) in about 3 mins lmao. Anyways I still have to get a proper diagnosis from a psychiatrist so I can prescription treatments and what not, in the meantime I’ve been going through a lot of CBD haha.
If you want a manic state that is actually enjoyable with a little delirium/delusion (which is more like being stoned and having fun than being confused), then I’d opt for dissociatives. O-PCE and 3-MEO-PCP are way more enjoyable than DXM (which I’ve done a few times and just can’t ever do it now that I’ve had 3-meo-pcp).
The worst thing that’s ever happened to me was a blackout in which I just cowered in bed hearing noises and I barely remember any of it which makes it not very disturbing. But yeah, supervision is nice just in case.
You say you’re not going to do any of it though, so if you’re just interested in others experiences I’d read up on dramamine, benadryl, and datura trip reports. Some people even enjoy that shit!
Spent a month eating acid and huffing nitrous. Started having delusions where after I hit the gas everything got so hectic and had to run out into the street and the police would come then I’d realize I was sitting in the same apt and it was gas causing the delusions so I’d chill out by doing more gas. Thought police where outside so I figured I’d enjoy myself before then came inside and sat in a warm bath doing gas and listening to Bach. Could t stop thinking of people dying from doing dissociatives in water so I ran back into my bedroom. Listened to the dirty projectors for the first time during this though. Very cool band.
This was pretty recent.
Hope it qualifies…
I was on day two through three of a binge.
It seems that when I consume retarded amounts of IV 3-FMP and then just KEEP vaping NEP until four in the morning, my sub-consciousness has to pull out all the stops to save me from self.
It (my Sub-Conscious Brain- we’ll say SC for short) had already been trying like mad all day to get through to me. It sets off rogue AI that operate as individuals to try and lie/coerce me into doing a specific task. Like leave my room so I stop doing drugs, or a lot of times just to fuck with me. More often than not though, which is highlighted in this story, what they want to get me to do would definitely facilitate me moving towards a version of myself that I didn’t hate and I haven’t given up on.
To be clear, these are fully fledged personalities that I can communicate with fully – verbally or mentally (It’s usually the most logical person at that time but it throws curveballs sometimes as well) that I can hear, just on the other side of my door. Or multiple people.
Saying all kinds of things, but the general premise is clear – There’s someone coming into your room RIGHT NOW – THE JIG IS UP.
They want to prey on my fear of being discovered tweeking to keep me from killing myself(or much more likely – hence this story – lose my mind.
I’ve developed ways to banish these spirits temporarily by making them realize that they aren’t a real person and are only SC constructs. The methods evolved, finally whittled down to “clap your hands” Them: “I don’t even have hands… woe, what?”
At this point in the night though my shtick was to talk to them a bit and then ask them to knock on my door – even just once a lot of times, and they come up with excuses and kind of fade away, making way for a new construct I suppose. (cap – if I were to guess is 2-3 – I think I’ve heard 3 separate people before but I’m not sure)
The constructs use my fears and insecurities and will utilize any tool it is presented with (sensory input)
One of the constructs was really screaming something reprehensible to me at the time and I mind yelled “KNOCK 3 TIMES OR YOU’RE NOT REAL”
Immediately – Three, perfect, clear thunder-blasts and the power goes out.
Construct downstairs is cackling like a hyena “You’ve invoked the wrath of god man, you fucked up”
Me: truly terrified. Cut off from everything I was doing( was at the computer watching a show and surfing while vaping) am sitting as still as possible in what was now a really quiet room. Constructs have shut up.
I hear a new construct right behind me… it’s a whispery girl. She’s in the small room off of my room that I keep some boxes in and a sitting area.
Ok, so not all of the power is off – just pc fuze blew- 2 small light-sources remain in the room.
“Turn the light on the dresser off. We’re going to smoke, but on your bed, under the covers, the house will burn down”
Me on my bed, frozen in fear, trip to the lights and kill them, then stumble back to bed.
“Burn the house down?” I ask
“that’s the first option— The second will be harder, but worth it, as the first option comes with other terrible consequences as well. (Described dismembering my brother and sister if I didn’t comply etc. etc.)
“Step two is you stand up, walk downstairs to the bathroom, and flush the NEP down the toilet….” (I’ve never wasted drugs like this in my life)
I was VERY hesitant, but her threats seemed more and more possible as time went on.
“TIME’S UP” she said
Now I beg for her to return for a second chance because I truly believe I have royally fucked up.
“Ok, go do it now. I’lll even help you, I know it will be hard”
“Where are you” I ask
“I’m currently in that bird over there” ( I have a statue of a crow on a ball)
So I picked up my crow, and my NEP and went to the bathroom.
I’m like teetering it on the crows beak and it finally falls.
“Now grab that Clonazolam, you need some right now I would think”
There was a Literal VIAL OF CLAM sitting in the bottom of the toilet water….. (100% out of benzo’s as well I had thought.)
had been to the ER to have it removed the day before lol that’s an entirely different story that I can’t get into)
Just the impact of everything coming together like this had me shaken to my very core.
It’s kind of sad typing this out because I’ve betrayed that bird, and she likely saved my life or sanity.
She said she was my guardian angel and was so convincing. Then convinced me while telling me to pretend to sleep that my Dad and brother were coming in and out of the room to change the fuse.
She convinced me that they knew everything, and had me believing that the constructs at the stairs were real now, and I would be evicted tomorrow regardless. So, Maniacally I gathered all of my paraphernalia (needles (lots) – scale – everything) and I did it with the greatest feeling of elation I can think of. Like I had finally beat the boss battle and would be able to rest once I delivered the treasure. Like I could finally stop hating everything and decaying in my self-made prison, and become a real person.
While I gather Little Bird is telling me “Your life will be very different tomorrow. See that Kratom? Throw that in the trash, you won’t need it. You won’t need anything. You’re finally free!”
I’m yelling down the stairs to my family that I’ve just been intervened on by divinity and I throw open the door to…….NOTHING of course. Just me holding a bag with all of my shit, and the vision of that divinely gifted reality from only a moment ago faded away, and I felt.. cheated…..
“No fucking way” I whisper to little bird “you’re such a master at your craft as a Construct”
I couldn’t get over how she utilized everything so perfectly – and the clam happening to be in the toilet and everything.
The night ended with me disillusioned, and feeling cheated – But to think – Had I just embraced Little Birds gift, I could be a free man right now. I had my ticket off of death row and still do l suppose……
Man I am with you in another sense. I’m positive I wasn’t taking the amounts of various different drugs as you were, but I had a very similar experience. I haven’t had any “kratom” in close to week, except yesterday and I still don’t crave or want it. I’m still a kid. 17. I’ve had a great life too. I took it for granted though and wanted to explore the “echoes of the mind” and deeply wanted to understand mental illness. That’s where I fucked up. Thankfully, by the grace of god, which I now see is a “god” and not me and you. I convinced myself that nothing matters in the end because I am god and I control what happens. Well, I didn’t think about my time in this life. I basically planned on just staying inside of my own head until I die. Lmao then I snapped and went crying to my mom. Cried my eyes out for a few days straight. I was tired of running from myself. Tired of trying to figure out EVERYTHING. No man can do that. Sure we may try, but it isn’t our place and therefore isn’t a feasible task. They may call you crazy here, out there in the real world etc. I’ve been called crazy, I even thought I was crazy and still do haha. Truth is, the only “crazy” ones here are the schizos. They are at a true loss with reality. You my friend can easily live a better life. But you will have to walk through “the valley of the shadow of death” (the withdrawals that will make you feel like total fucking shit). If you want to talk more just pm me dawg. I don’t have shit figured out and it seems you have it way worse than I, but I’ve paddled that boat before and the least I could do is try to help.
This is the first of me cataloging any of these events and therefore may be fragmented or have details out of place. I haven’t really had time to evaluate the impact they may yet have on me, and writing this has actually been pretty enlightening.
Maybe Little Bird will find reason or method to attempt another rescue in the future.
She is the purest and most logical version of me that I, on a daily basis must oppress in order to keep using and deceiving….she was throwing me a bone…
I realized the next Morning that she had a voice very similar to my first love – The first person to really KNOW me and the depths of my addictions and try to save me from myself. She DID say, when she left ” I will always love you”
I’d like to think Little Bird is the embodiment of that sentiment from her instilled in me, shining hope like the glint of a clam bottle at the bottom of a toilet bowl, teetering amongst the sinking NEP.
Why are you calling a voice that lied to you about your family coming over and who threatened to dismember your brother a guardian angel? Also, if you’re vaping a stimulant that acts on dopamine and start hallucinating, you don’t need to flush anything down the toilet. You can just put them away somewhere and sober up. Lastly, if you have these experiences while not under the influence of a stimulant, you need to see a psychiatrist to be prescribed an antipsychotic to treat your schizophrenia.
Yeah dude totally.
The only logical answer to this whole thing.
Lets just stop to appreciate the ludicrous nature of what we’re even discussing. That there was some assigned program performing a grand orchestra on my fears and desires to manipulate me in just a way that it would illicit a certain response that would, in turn, keep the host living longer and suffering a great deal less, more likely than not, as far as ‘it’ is concerned. (inception, anyone?)
Like, what/how/who/wtf does this avatars existence imply for consciousness itself.
Observing the SC’s manipulations first hand rather than just suffering their effects in some peripheral form is eye opening. Like my fathers fake version is usually extremely volatile, because it mimics my fathers volatile nature, but overdoes it to the degree that I see how ridiculous it was to dwell on that aspect of anothers experiences and opinions towards me in the first place. it usually allows me to better appreciate the good nature and drive I see in my actual father. He’s a good person doing his best. I honestly didn’t see things like that before some of the more pronounced hallucinations that tried too desperately to depict him as a savage in order to scare or deter me in the past……( although now I’m wondering if ‘it’ was one step ahead of me and intended for me to become closer to my father as a result of straw-manning him to death–…— it totally was the intention….., if I were to guess. thinking back now….success I suppose.
I’m trying to gain whatever insights I can about myself from these experiences.
Endless questions arise, and I see this is nearly untouched territory. Very interesting to me. I’ve always loved psychology.
you keep getting so spiritual your gonna get so high and trip into a grave. your experience does not hold true for other people. it is just your solo mission. it seems like your reality is very intense right now. permanent psychosis is real. take a long break like seriously.
schizophrenia is not the only thing which causes these experiences when not sober. Stimilant psychosis can last forever for some people, most will come out but it can often last longer than a stimulant does, just becuase someone gets stim psychosis doesnt mean they have schizophrenia.
If it’s temporary enough, it is drug-induced psychosis. If it goes on long enough in the absence of the drug and of withdrawal, it is seen as schizophrenia. For example, the paper I linked below is titled, “Prediction of Onset of Substance-Induced Psychotic Disorder and Its Progression to Schizophrenia in a Swedish National Sample.
A lot less than the other people’s experience, but I once had minor hallucinations from sleep deprivation. I was working a 24/7 on-call job as a driver and once I basically didn’t sleep for like 3 or 4 days. (only like 2-3 hrs in between and small naps when I was waiting at work.) I was driving and started having hallucinations of shadow people and animal figurea walking along the sides of the highway and sometimes running across. It was hard not to slam on the brakes every time I saw one cross the road even though I knew they were not real. I’d been taking caffeine pills every few hours and had a couple energy drinks too so that wasn’t helping any.
When that started happening I knew it was unsafe (Not only for me, I had passengers.) but I still finished my shift and ended up quitting that morning because I asked for 8 or 9 hours to sleep and my boss said sure, but I still got called in a couple of hours after I’d gotten home to sleep. I told him I couldn’t do the drive which was about 9 hours round trip because I was so tired it was unsafe (didn’t mention the hallucinations) and he basically told me to do it anyways. I persistently said “No, I’m not doing it it’s unsafe and I don’t want to kill myself or anyone else.” Finally he just said fine that he’d find someone else to do the trip and I just blocked his number and stopped showing up to work. I don’t want to work for someone who expects their employees to do things that are extremely unsafe like that.
That’s crazy you were able to stay up! I can barely stay up on my drive home from work if I get a bad night sleep, even with a caffeine pill with no tolerance. Idk something about driving just makes me want to sleep. I frequently have to pull over and take a nap. I once started having a dream at a red light and got really freaked out so since then I always pull over.
Good for you for getting out of that, definitely irresponsible of your boss to try to make you do that.
I had a pretty terrifying psychotic episode after smoking weed on MDMA. Lasted around 14 hours or so. At first I began noticing shadowy people standing and watching me from the road, and brushed it off. When I entered my room, however, my entire window was covered in the silhouettes of hands, all clawing and scraping and scratching at me through the glass, as if trying to get it. I looked around to see hundreds of black little bugs scurrying across my floor and up my walls. The air above me around the ceiling appeared to be swarming with flies. I fled my room in a hysteric state sobbing. I’ve had problems with psychosis before this incident and was already diagnosed at the time, so I did my best to tell myself it wasn’t real and had to be my hallucinations. When I went back in my room, the hands were still there, and I began to have auditory hallucinations. I could hear incoherent voices outside my window as well as the shadows of extremely tall people. One of their backs was pressed against the glass all of a sudden and I swore I watched the silhouettes engage in vigorous sex against my window(I wish I was joking lol). At the time it was honestly horrifying and I became convinced they were a pair of drunk teenagers who’d stumbled onto my property. The rest of the night was a blur of being shaken to my core with fear fueled by other hallucinations; a group of people planning and then attempting to break into my room with some sort of blunt weapon. I swore I heard them mumuring and then struggling to try and pry open my window. Footsteps passed my window all night. I even swore I saw and heard two shadow people engaging in oral sex outside my window as well, I assumed they were the same teenagers from before. Probably the most vivid hallucination however (im still skeptical it was a hallucination, it was so freaking real) was a man outside my house talking on his cellphone and to other people whole a motorcycle parked outside my house. I even woke my mother up (for the second time, actually) who ripped open my window and showed me there was no one there. But he reappeared after she finished screaming “you have fucking psychosis, you know this, go to bed!”and went back to hers in frustration. But yeah, this was definitely my worse psychotic episode. I had another induced by weed alone where I was convinced I wasn’t real and in a simulated world and had to play it off like I didn’t know, engaging with my family and feeling as if everything I was doing involved playing this “game” and to calm myself, just told myself I did this everyday and only needed to “remember the controls”. My arms also looked distortedly long and I had extreme derealization.
Weed enhances the 5-HT receptor activity. That’s why it boosts the hallucinations on psychedelics or mdma . Your experience sounds horrible, especially the shadow people fucking on your window lol.I’ve luckily only had positive experiences with weed and mdma. Once I looked at my hand and no joke, I hallucinated that all the veins came out and wiggled behind my hand like electric currents. Looked so fucking cool, I will never forget it. When I was younger and fucking stupid I know I drove home after a night of partying, the sun was coming up. Every tree branch looked like some different animal. Birch leaves formed Jellyfish like creatures and mailboxes looked like small black figures.
Not sure whether this falls under the ‘psychosis’ category (probably not), but the one and only time I smoked weed I was struck with an extreme panic attack accompanied by small hallucinations where every single object in the room appeared frightening and threatening to me. I was seeing demonic faces and evil grins everywhere, even in the fucking toilets or in the folds of my t-shirt. My brain was sort of ‘re-interpreting’ reality in a different, dreadful way. This lasted for a couple hours, then I felt normal again the morning after. I suppose what I went through is a pretty rare phenomenon with cannabis, but I’ve never wanted to touch weed again after that.
Wow, you had that with weed? I definitely have a predisposition for cannabis paranoia, but I’ve never experienced anything remotely that bad. Were you taking anything else?
Well, where I live, cannabis is strictly prohibited whereas we have the highest number of users in Europe. How ironic is that? Anyone can buy some at every street corner, in every city, all the time.
I think you are totally on point about the THC ‘overdose’. I smoked almost an entire joint of high-quality indica/sativa (can’t remember exactly) in a coffee shop in Amsterdam. Looking back, that was definitely WAY too much for a first time with no tolerance at all, but I wasn’t feeling the weed that much while I was smoking, so I thought ‘fuck it, let’s keep going’. Strange enough, the psychotic episode occurred three hours later, in the hotel room where we were staying, but not during the smoking session itself.
This is indeed psychosis. You had delusions and hallucinations, which if not caused by drugs & present for 1 month is enough to diagnose schizophrenia. Additionally, both are “positive symptoms” which are the psychotic ones. Speaking of which, if you develop temporary schizophrenia from smoking some weed [are you sure it wasn’t cut with PCP or crack – both of which can cause psychosis as well?], you should abstain from it to avoid the risk. There’s some evidence out there that for some people with certain genes, weed can unlock their latent schizophrenia.
Thanks for your input, this is good to know. I have no reason to believe the weed was cut with some unknown agent since it was ordered from a regular coffee shop in Amsterdam, where cannabis is legal and subject to controls. But yeah, I have no intention of trying cannabis again, even though I am certainly the one to blame for my reckless attitude towards the weed (smoked an entire joint of pure weed for my first time).
I’ve had very similar experiences with weed! I start thinking about the darkest most disturbing shit …super depressed at moments and extreme paranoia….I see all kinds of shit as my thoughts race and my heart races…I get almost lethargic and curl up into a ball as I hear voices at times telling me to do everything from pulling out a gun and putting an end to this madness to jumping out my window….it’s happened more often than it hasn’t with every different kind of weed out there …ive just come to the point where weed just isn’t for me …i hate it tbh….it also seems to take me a day or 2 to completely gain my clarity of mind.
Sounds like a good idea. For mostly everyone, weed can at worse make him paranoid with unpleasant thoughts. Once voices present themselves, you have moved to a different degree of weed affecting you poorly. It’s hard to say since schizophrenia itself is still quite mysterious, but it’s reasonable to treat the situation like you have a high risk of developing the disorder with or without the help of drugs. I’d stay away from weed based on its impact on you and stay away from psychedelics, deliriants, large doses of stimulants, and staying up for long periods of time since all of these can cause psychosis.
Fifteen years ago at the age of 18 I took a moderate dose of Datura or Jimson Weed seeds on a Saturday night AFTER having been up all night Thursday night and Friday night snorting meth for the first time ever. While also doing lines of coke on Saturday night. I was 100 miles away from home snowed in in my buddies apartment, I rode there with another buddy but kept trying to leave to pick my 12 year old sister up from b ball practice. My two best friends had to baby sit me until the fell asleep.
Once I was the only one awake the real madness began. I was basically carpet surfing finding rock salt pop corn kernals and various other “dirt” items thinking it was drugs. I put it all in a plastic and hid it in his bathroom cabinet along with what I thought various types of weed pipes but actually was only hemp necklaces with glass beads. At some point in the night I made my way out to his porch and start carpet surfing out there . I find a bunch of dead roly polies but to me they are deceased homeless people. I was so sad for them. At some point my buddies wake back up the next morning to find me doing all this shit. I remember asking them to please quit cussing bc my mother and grandma would be there soon to take a tour of his apartment. The last thing I remember doing on Sunday morning was looking out the 2nd story window telling me buddy that the guy hiding in the garbage can keeps fucking with me and yelling shit at me. So I go out side to confront the guy in the garbage can.only to find out there’s not even a garbage can much less a guy hiding in one outside the window. But I did notice what I thought to be a nice plush marijuana garden growing where I thought the garbage can guy was. Also hallucinations.
The whole time I was 100% certain it was all real and you couldn’t convince me otherwise.
…….never again did I nor would ever want to consume Datura ever again.
Many years ago I at 2 boxes of Dramamine when it still has scopolamine (Datura chemical) in it. I had some of the most incredible conversations with people that weren’t even there. Couldn’t tell they were hallucinations. Even had a keg party on my front porch and drank beer and none of this was happening. Finally just fell asleep and found out the next day my parents were flipping because I was talking to imaginary people. I lived in a house on their back lot. Just crazy shit.
3-meo-pcp! I might type out my mania episode later.. I was mixing it with some random rc stim, the Ritalin analogue… Like an idiot.
Drawing a blank on the stim name (been like a year). But holy fuck aliens were REAL. I don’t recommend Meo on stims you’ll get mania just using it alone
A friend and I found a nice sized Angel Trumpet in someone’s yard. That night we chopped it down, packed it to my Apt and scraped the soft bark off and squeezed the juice out and saved it. About 6 months later a girl and I took a shot glass full each. Sometime later I fell asleep or passed out. I would be rudely awakened by falling into a wall,door or other hard objects people shouldn’t be falling into. Sometime the next day I heard a loud knock on the door. The girl with me got to the door before me and opened it. 2 cops stood there. One asked” Sir do you know you’ve been outside like this?” I replied what do you mean??. He said you’ve been outside naked covered in blood. I looked down and I had Tan shorts on and I didn’t see any blood.They pushed inside my apartment and set us on the sofa. I was in fact Naked covered in blood. They took us “downtown” and interrogated us. I had a parrot on my shoulder that wouldn’t shut up and I kept telling it to shut up. The cops thought I had lost my mind and really I had at that moment . They released us to do amily that afternoon because we were out of minds. 24 hours later I thought I had magical powers. Everything I touch disappeared. Unfortunately I touched my keys and couldn’t get back into my apartment. I got my neighbor to call the maintenance guy to unlock my door. Once inside my apt was destroyed. Blood everywhere, holes in the walls,doors broken. Even the toilet was broken . My ex girlfriend was setting on my bed and bitching at me. I talked to her for hours, crying and telling her I was sorry. I looked away for a second and she was gone….she was never there but we talked for hours.
I took about 2 days to get back to normal from a shot glass full. 3 months later the cops kicked in the door and officially arrested me. Fuckin pigs lol. Moral of the story is DON’T DO DATURA!
7.7 mg DOC, 36 hour trip. At like hour 35 I started seeing shadow people and was slightly paranoid. Other than that it was a great trip with 0 body load or nausea.
~1200 ug LSD and a 4.5 gram already vaped bud brownie made me think I was at the gates of death for a few minutes. The trees were the gates of fucking death like the gate to Mordor in the LoTR except more ominous. My friends were grim reapers luring me in.
DXM + Diphenhydramine gave me very real hallucinations like dogs that weren’t real, and I didn’t have a single bad moment on this combo.
Amphetamine sulphate will make you very delusional if you do it long enough. I thought my sprinkler system was a fucking camera people were using to spy on me. I thought people were watching me through telescopes. I thought Taylor Swift was going to swoop in any moment and fuck me. I thought Donald Trump himself was sending his boys after me.
This is after 10 years off the Adderall and then losing my mind in college. I was seeing rainbow faces in the walls and hearing voices that weren’t real. So I self medicated amphetamine sulphate for 5 months. Started with 5 mg 2 times per day, and after 3 months I was doing 12.5 mg 3 times per day. My ADHD symptoms improved vastly but came back when the drug wore off; still, I was seeing slow overall improvement. After 1 month I wasn’t delusional like before I started. After 2 months the delusions brought on by amp sulphate started. I tapered off after 5 months. Withdrawals were physically painful; it was like a jackhammer in my brain. I still had strong cravings 9 months later.
I still use it now to keep my ADHD in check. But even after 2 months break, after using it for 5 days I fucking cried on the 6th day at the time I usually took it. This shit is no joke.
Took 900mg of DXM for the 2nd time. Laid in bed for the whole experience just waiting for it to kick in, and I avoided any nausea this way. I listened to music when I felt myself starting to peak. The CEVs were unreal, I was shot through an infinite number of colorful, textured walls before entering an entirely black universe. I was watching over my own solar system. It was just nothing but darkness with planets. I could look at all these planets and zoom in on each one of them. Shit was wild.
Anyway at some point I fell asleep on accident. I woke up who knows how much later, somewhere between 20 minutes and 1 hour, in a complete daze. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I’d forgotten I even took any drugs, and I couldn’t figure out where I was, who I was, or why I was so lethargic. Once I remembered that I’d taken DXM, I feared that I’d overdosed or gave myself serotonin syndrome (which isn’t even possible on DXM alone but I convinced myself this was it).
I sent myself into a panic attack and could not stop shaking. I carefully sat up on the edge of my bed and tried to stand, but my wobbly legs immediately gave out on me. I managed to slump over to my desk and Googled “serotonin syndrome” but I couldn’t read anything. I decided to lay back down and put on some music, but everything sounded so sinister and disturbing. Anything with lyrics seemed like they were singing about death & how it’s okay to let go and just die. Even peaceful, ambient instrumental songs had this scary undertone to them that I couldn’t stand. Songs with drums were impossible to comprehend & sounded like they were skipping like a broken record. Even the ambient stuff seemed to skip and glitch at random.
I started thinking about how these were my last moments, and how my family was going to wake up and find me dead on my bed, with my trash can full of empty cough medicine boxes. I thought about how they’d react, how devastating it would be for them, how much of a fucking loser I was for overdosing on cough suppressant. I had several voices yelling all these negative thoughts at me.
Then I fell asleep again. I woke up with amnesia and more confusion, still panicking, and I repeated the entire process 4, maybe 5 times before eventually falling asleep for the rest of the night. I remember this because the next day I checked my browser history, which was nothing but Google searches of “serotonin syndrome” every 30 minutes during the peaking hours of that night lol
Gf and i were shooting A LOT of meth, something like 10 gs in 4 days. Along with a bunch of H and kpins. Around the 3rd into 4th day, we have sex and its amazing, so good in fact i start thinking/feeling like there were multiple people in bed with us. I became convince my gf had invited at least a third person to have sex with us, withour my knowledge/consent. I came and had probably the most visionary experience of my life. But then. I couldnt get shake the feeling of other people being there and ended running into my roommates room naked screaming “WHERE ARE THEY, WHERE ARE THEY.” Then proceed to think my gf and her brother were plotting against me to kill me or send me to jail or something. That lasted even into the next couple days after stopping the meth and sleeping. I was scared it wouldnt ever go away but it eventually did and im fine now. 🙂 havent rly touched meth since tho.
I’ve read multiple times that amanita muscaria (fly agricultural) mushrooms walk the line between psychedelic and deliriant at higher doses. That’s probably where I would start if that’s what you’re looking for. They’re 100% legal and can be bought on the clearnet without crypto. There was actually a report just like a week or two ago on this sub (or maybe one of the other drug subs) by a guy who took a large quantity of amanitas and basically experienced what he characterized as an insane state of mind. It was a very difficult experience for him and one from which he was still recovering psychologically a few months later. I’d recommend you read his report before you try something like this, just so you have an idea of what you’re in for. It’s your consciousness, so I’m not going to tell you not to do it so long as you’re not putting anyone else at risk, but you couldn’t pay me to try high dose amanitas after reading that report. Serotonergic psychedelics are plenty mind bending for me. But amanitas didn’t just bend his mind. They bent it, folded it over and tied it in a tangled mess of knots. I’m assuming you have a fair amount of psychedelic experience and know what you’re getting yourself into if you’ve found your way to this sub, but if you’ve never taken a very high dose of serotonergic psychs (e.g. 1000+ ug of LSD), I’d at least try that before proceeding with something like this. You might find that gives you the sort of experience you’re looking for.
There’s also good old Dramamine (dimenhydrinate). It’s a straight up deliriant if you take enough. One of the most memorable Erowid experience reports I ever read was by a guy who took a bunch of Dramamine and a bottle of DXM. It wasn’t something I would want to experience, but the hallucinations sounded absolutely nuts and were also kind of fascinating. It also didn’t leave him psychologically scarred either, from what I remember.
Oh I’m sorry you misunderstood my intentions. Under NO circumstances would I take ANY of these substances inducing these states of Mind. I am just genuinely curious about people’s experiences. I have read all the reports about datura on erowid and it really got my curiosity going, and I was just wondering if there are people on this sub who might have experienced them first hand. God save me from ever doing that to myself. I think I might have experienced mania under the influence of MDMA but probably was just excited. But thank you for your concern, and word of caution.
at work so i’m not posting a long story, but i took 48×25 mg DPH (benedryl) tablets. my friend was turquoise sitting in front of me and would randomly vanish from existence, I searched for my cat in my back yard with hundreds of hallucinated people, my arms turned into snakes and a bunch of other weird shit happened. Oh yeah, and I completely lost 3 weeks of memories. To the degree someone came over, I thought I had seen him the day before and he was like…. i haven’t been here for weeks.
One time I took 900mg of dph and while staring at a smudged mirror, the smudges were breathing and all started to move and morph together until it became fluid, morphing landscapes, the most memorable one was what appeared to be two eagles gliding through a valley. After that while walking home I heard a distant, tinny sounding voice kind of like through a loudspeaker, but with no intelligible words, and a couple female screams which also seemed to come from far away. Then once home I was hearing deep, distorted voices coming from different rooms and additionally it sounded like my sister was talking to one, but again, I wasn’t able to make sense of anything I was hearing.
I had a buddy over one day the first time I took a high dose of lsd. They were gel tabs that happened to be nbome and the guy goes only take one so I’m like word pop two and had the most confused fucking trip of my mind. I was convinced my buddy invited hundreds of people to my house for a party while I was “sleeping”. I was texting this chick and trying to get her to come over until I eventually hallucinated her coming over and I thought I had sex with her but also hallucinated my mom catching us and telling us to go up to my room and stay the night so my dad wouldn’t find out. I woke up and she wasn’t there (obviously) and I called her a bunch of times like wya you left already? Wild night. I still have her on Snapchat and she to this day has no clue what was going on that night lol I can’t imagine her opinion of me
Yeah. Not going to give the accidental drug situation but spent most of 9 days living in the 1950’s with people I didn’t know but knew me. They had an entire history with me that I played along with but didn’t remember. During some of the time, one half my brain was completely immersed in that situation while the other half was sad and worried I’d never get back to my real life. I had a day to day dedicated serious relationship, a job (I hated as a receptionist), lived in a brick house with a finished basement where we all visited. Got nagged at for having a job and repeatedly told I couldn’t work after marriage. Was expected to bow down to the mother of my bf, evade the snide dirty jokes of my bf’s father and do a lot of serving and cleaning. All stuck in the 1950’s. Every minute was so real. A friend who thought I sounded off on the phone had a well person check done that I don’t remember but apparently passed with flying colors. When I finally started to come out of it I got the 2+ hours ride to the nearest University medical center and filled them in. I was in severe withdrawal and that apparently (according to them though I have my doubts) was the cause. Coupled with being considered brain injured from having previous brain surgery in the past. I was just so damn happy to be back in the right place, right year, with social context I understood, if they had told me I’d been abducted by aliens, I would have still been happy. Weirdly, for most of it I really remember the 1950’s part but almost nothing of what was going on in my real life. The brain is a complicated and little understood. For the record I have a variety of anxiety disorders and depression but no other mental illness. Even after my lost 9 days. Never, never want to go through that again.
My mom is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. When I was 7 or 8 she had a delusion about parasites and thought she was infected by some made up parasite. She found something online that was similar to what she was experiencing and said she had that. No matter how many doctors said she was perfectly fine she pressed on to no avail. She shaved her head bald and became extremely erratic in her behavior. She started to do all kinds of alternative medical treatments and started to sprinkle this white dust looking stuff all over to try and kill them. Usually my mom is perfectly normal, very smart too, she has three college degrees two of them earned in America and one of which was earned while she lived in Russia. Her condition has caused her not to be able to work consistently. I attribute my mothers schizophrenic episodes to her abusive dad. She has been nothing but kind to me and it hurts me when people say manic or psychotic people are evil and bad. Because in most cases they’re nonviolent. In my first year of high school I even wrote an oratory about it for debate.
TDLR: Mom had schizophrenic episode, imagined parasites, shaved off all of her hair, crazy herbal treatments, covered our house in white dust, still has short haircut and bleaches hair due to said parasites.
I had a full blown mania and/or psychotic episode pretty much randomly a few years ago. Thought I was god, knew what life was and how to play it perfectly, thought I was going to be rich etc.. completely delusional. Ended up in the psych ward for a long time, they fucked me up with meds in there, made me so much worse.
The only thing I had even touched at that time was weed and I smoked it very regularly so I guess that played a part in it. Got a bipolar diagnosis but haven’t taken meds for around two years and nothing bad has happened. Think I was misdiagnosed and the meds they gave me just made the thing a lot worse lol.
I dont even know: extremely bad trip (200ug) went from delusions to thought loops to hearing voices to seeing things, looping again, reality tearing … terrifying trip … everybody sounded like one of those shitty ‘meth only once’ commercials starts with me doing the usual – my blinds are closed its 12 am, setting was awful i fucked up big time instead of changing my scenery i sat inside rotting not even enjoying the trip. Leads to me feeling my reality PEEEELING away at the fucking seems I start thought looping endlessly fucking endless – thought I overdosed (lol on lsd???) walked up to my mom telling her she was saving my life (i was hearing paramedics resuscitating my body) i was sweating my tattoos on my hand were peeling off, in reality i was actually cold i wasnt even sweating, everything was bitlike, im begging god to save me (lol) i lay on my couch, hearing voices (my moms and my uncles specifically) yelling at me, telling me to come to their voice they want to play, they need me … blah blah … i know this is all over the place but im rush typing im playing Squad, everything was pure nonsense but i let it terrify me. 8 hours in, I roll over look at my uncle and say Well im stuck like this so (try making convo with him while he stares at me like i am fucking stupid) there was much more to it… I was gonna make a video for people who had similar experiences. Plus there would be more detail… not fun.. be careful of drugs
Get tricked to do something unforgivable and totally wrong but meth makes you invincible and all your morals or whatever it’s called no longer exists
Take some mda(might be optional)
Smoke weed for the come down
Combined clonazolam and IV meth a while back. Got forcibly kicked out of the place I was staying, and to this day don’t know why. Was in a full on hallucinatory state, thought I was with people I hadn’t seen in weeks. Lost my wheels, my wallet, my medications. I lost a day. I don’t know what I did that day, and nobody who knows will tell me, but I don’t think I’ll ever earn back their respect.
I know it sounds like a story you’d hear in DARE, but it happened. I’m glad I don’t know the worst of it. I’m glad I “woke up” walking to a friend’s house and not in jail or the psych ward. It was deeply humiliating and unexplainable to the people I care about.
Untested ‘mdma’, loads of k and weed.
This mixture resulted in me accusing my friends friend of being a serial killer who had poisoned us with ricin and we were going to die. All was accompanied with relevant delusions/ hallucinations. I see now that it was psychosis but at the time is was more than real and was the absolute truth.
A terrifying experience. Would never like to experience anything like that again. Safe to say, TEST YOUR SHIT!
Datura, so delerium. I had lots of conversations with people who weren’t there, talked for 3 hours with a girl we were bringing home from the festival we were at, except the girl was a laundry basket I found out, I thought someone spilled their pills on the rocks we were camped on at the festival and I picked up some of the pills and saved them only to find a bag of pebbles when I came down after a day and a half, mostly just felt very childlike, you don’t question anything that happens to you on datura, everything is normal it seems, you don’t even know you are on drugs. I loved the feeling/experience, nothing was scary or strange for me, it was very happy and innocent. This was on a high dose, and not recommended to anyone.
I remember my first delusional experiences happened when i was a child. When i had fever i would feel delusional amd specifically remember my body feeling either very very big or terrifiyngly small, but the hardest psychosis i had, also cuz fever, i was like 8. I woke up from my parents bed feeling completely disoriented, looked at the bed and the fact that it was unmade made me extremely anxious, i didnt know what to do, i stared into it as if it was an absolutely unsolvable problem which needed to be fixed. After a while, I guess I snapped out of that but i remember feeling the urge to hurt or punch my sister, and also had a delusion of being a nazi and something related to nuclear bombs, but fortunately I couldnt make myself to do anything (btw I have never been violent or agressive) but i still was tot psycho, eventually I calmed down and my dad arrived, then i remember two visual hallucinations bery similar to diphenydramine on my peripheral vision, the first one, a stappler began stappling and throwing staples all around, which of course wasnt. Then while going up the stairs, i saw them crumbling down as i stepped on them. Then acetaminophen did the job. That was the most psychotic state i had ever been, also had quite some manic/delusional experiences with many hallucinogens but nothing as hard as that.
ADHD, Bipolar 2 and PTSD here. I had an episode this year that started with godlike ideation about myself, I decided to hit a 5strip of LSD (the catalyst) under some delusional notion that it would cure me. Then anxiety and anger kicked in, wouldn’t sleep for weeks, I became violent, my memories became foggy or entirely different from reality. Many hallucinations occured like shadow people and intrusive thoughts and sounds (specifically many people screaming in my head and demons or corpses would attack me whenever I closed my eyes). Keep in mind these hallucinations started days after coming down from the acid. My brother was robbed by his childhood bully and I ended up getting arrested trying to get it back. In the jail I kept having these fever dreams that I murdered a cop or that none of this was real and I was unconscious in my home. When the police spoke to me, the meaning behind their words was entirely different from what they were saying. I would become so anxious and starving from not eating that I would get cramps in my stomach that would make me vomit acid. I was convinced that this would end in my death but it wouldn’t matter because time didn’t exist. I remember crying at my mother’s house trying to explain that there’s nothing wrong with me and in fact I had never felt better in my entire life, where I would proceed upstairs and contemplate suicide. I kept thinking people wanted to have sex with me or steal from me in some way. I also thought the government invented Albert Hoffman who is actually a machine elf that manufactures the global supply of heroin in order to keep the population struggling. I also thought that I had minor telepathic abilities and my psychiatrist was trying to fry my brain with medication to make me docile. I also spent/ lost all my money, got in fist fights, had sex with prostitutes while doing insane amounts of coke and I also thought at one point that the only way to make it end was to kill my ex girlfriend. I’d say too much PCP or huge meth binges would be the substances to best reach this state but god damn I do not recommend it. To be honest though that 5 strip and the madness which ensued is the reason I went out and got diagnosed, currently I’m working on sobriety with the help of some more useful medication. Ps. Throughout the whole ordeal I was under the impression that DMT aliens had created a link between our minds so that they could exist through me. Edit: I know lots of these are hallucinations which I don’t think you listed as a curiosity but I would say that my real consideration and acting upon the hallucinations was psychotic.
I have benadryl tripped a few times. I do not remember a dose, but I didn’t dose extraordinarily high. I found it kind of fun, cause I could close my eyes and do things and open them and be right back where I was when I shut them. The scariest thing was a severed werewolf (it was very hairy and big) arm fell on me and warm red blood splattered all over me. I was frozen in fear. It was terrifying, and I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t scare easy. And I have entered stimulant psychosis from cocaine and a-php. I was up for about five days, and I’d say it was mild psychosis compared to others. Just heard evil sounding whispering and unfortunately I heard my friends constantly whispering and shit talking me even though they were not. I even tried to fight a friend, but backed off cause I realized that I was really out of it. Everything had a surreal feeling to it as well.
Strong LSD trip + unexpected large amount of insufflated ketamine + darkness and uneven rocky ground at camping grounds of festival = nightmarish trip including paranoia that I had induced a permanently psychotic/delirious state of mind.